Mini Motivation #97 - Remembering the Younger Days of Peer Pressure

in psychology •  10 months ago

When I was younger, a young adult really, I had always issues with my self-confidence. I looked at the cool kids and wanted to become like them. I would try to follow the trend, keep to the hype, stay in the know. Loads of effort was placed in it, and of course, it had cost me quite a bit too.

And sometimes, trying to be the cool kid had also impacted my health. A couple of times I would follow them into bars and drank, even when I knew I couldn't take alcohol. Made myself looked stupid, really.

I was reminded of those days recently when one of the friends brought it up, commenting that I did not do that anymore. I quickly brushed it aside, saying that I'm old and all, but the truth is, over the years of being coaches and mentored, I had enjoyed 's great boost in my confidence. Instead of following others for the sake of being accepted, I would prioritize learning and growth. I was also trained to pick the right crowd to hang out with, because seriously, you are your five closest friends!

Not that I am being judgemental, because I am pretty sure the cool kids are doing very well, too. Though I don't hang out with them anyway, and being away from social media also meant I "see" lesser of them, but I'm pretty sure they are still cool, in their own way.

I guess over time, we just shift priorities, and we start to understand what is really cool at our current stage of life.

What about you? Had you ever had peer pressure? How did you deal with it?

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From Motivation, we gain Inspiration. From Inspiration, we achieve Momentum. And the rest, they say, is history.

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I think people begin to understand that they are special and cool in their own way as they grow up. Being popular and things of that nature no longer shape who you are as a person. We get more and more comfortable in our own skin with each and every experience! Be who you are and don't let anyone change that!

Everyone deals with peer pressure, hopefully more young kids can see that it is just a stage and it passes with time! :)


"hopefully" is the key word there, because I still see adults trying to be in the cool club and lose third identity to it.

@maverickfoo I suppose in many ways as we grow and mature and begin to discover "who we truly are" then we become more comfortable and confident in standing our ground and making decisions based on what we know is best for us as individuals and not for the sake of fitting in or pleasing others.


Yeah, I credit those early days to a lost-and-to-be-found stage of our lies. We follow the wave of trend just because we don't know who we are, and those "experiments" did certainly gave us experience. I guess eventually we all get to the lost-and-found stage. :)

Thanks for dropping in, @jaynie!

I feel you @maverickfoo .. Been there..growing up is a journey of learning to be wiser. Think with your head, not with your heart.


I think head and heart need to talk more, so that they can tell each other how stupid their impulses are, haha.

Eventually, I think they do. And as a result, we become wiser.

Peer pressure is the byproduct of sociality. Put it this way, I imagine myself staying in mental hospital, the only peer pressure I had will be myself. Because everyone of my "peer" would have their own agenda anyway. Who give a park of what I do and what I don't? So yeah, when I face pressure from "peer", I imagine if they're from mental hospital. I can live in my own perfect little world and having a lot of siok sensitive moment without worrying too much of them. Competition is real, pressure is not.


Competition is real, pressure is not.

Ho seh liao! This is a great quote!

Yupe, when I was in secondary school I don't want to be alone and I want to be one of them. Hence, I follow them hang out at snooker area, cyber cafe, skip schools, and so on. When I started to work, I prefer to have more time for myself, doing whatever I love to do, I'm cool if I'm alone, watch a movie alone and so on. I'm not sure how are they now as I also seldom "see" them on social media and we don't hang out anymore as we don't have a common topic to talk to.
I feel good to be myself, to explore myself who am I, what I really want in my life and I believe these all thought lead me to who I am today and I'm getting more and more awesome social group of friends who really connect and talk about growth and learning (sometimes bullshxt as well) :)


I think it's a phase we all go through, eh?