Look! It's a penis! It's a fish! No! It's a penis fish ?!?!

in steemstem •  6 months ago

If you are an old follower of mine you may have noticed I have a small fixation for posting dick related stuff. Well, I know @alexander.alexis certainly has and likes to remind me all the time! 

But, if you are a  new reader then you definitely need to check some of my old gems, like these 9 incredibly  weird animal penises, the world's largest penis, the world's largest sperm, the world's largest testicles, this post on diphallia (NSWF), this guy who purposefully put bees to sting his penis and testicles in the name of science and of course my very own dick pick

Following the same spirit, today I want to introduce you to a creature that I planned to post about a long time ago but never had the chance because.. I was lazy I guess! 

The creature I am talking about is scientifically described as "Urechis unicinctus" and commonly known as the fat innkeeper worm, spoonworm and of course... the penis fish. The photo below leaves no questions why people call it that way:

Yep, they look like a bunch of flaccid dicks! Yam!  (CC BY-SA 3.0, Credit)

Ok, now that you know why it's called a penis fish let's learn a bit more about it:

What exactly is it ? 

Although called a penis fish,  U. unicinctus is not a fish at all. It actually belongs to the class "Echiura" in the phylum annelida. Echiura is a relatively small group of animals that contains all kinds of weird looking animals, like the closely related and similarly looking Urechis caupo..

Yay! Another dick shaped animal! (credit, CC BY 2.0)

..and the sludge-like Bonellia viridis...

Bonellia viridis (credit, CC BY 2.5)

As a sidenote, B. viridis is a pretty interesting animal itself! It's one of the most extreme examples of sexual  dimorphism you can encounter in nature. While females are about 15 cm-long, males grow to be only  1–3 mm long! Click here to learn more if this tidbit of information intrigued you ;)

As for annelids, it's a large and very interesting phylum, with over 22,000 known species. Some of them are boring but some of them are really, really interesting. I suggest you to check wikipedia's entry on the phylum but in the meantime I will just leave this video here before getting back to U. unicinctus:

Where Can I find One?

So you want to get your hands on one of those peckers? Then you should know that this particular species inhabits the waters of China, Korea, Russia and Japan and has a preference for muddy or sandy coasts, usually found in U-shaped burrows. Furthermore, closely related, dick-looking species can be found in all of the world’s major oceans so chances are there is a fish penis in a beach near you!

Here's a video to give you a better idea of how these critters look like:

And here's another cool video, from the Monterey Bay Aquarium , showing a specimen inside its burrow:

How Big Do They Get?

Big enough to put your manhood to shame! Most sources I could access say they can be anywhere from 20 to 30 cm  long. 

What's their life like?

These phallic like creatures spend most of their lives in U-shaped tunnels, occasionaly moving inside them by pumping water into waves from their anus. These burrows which are often occupied by other creatures too and it's why they are also known as  fat innkeeper worms. To our knowledge, the worms don't have any benefit from the presence of the other creatures. 

What do they eat?

Much like most annelids, the penis fish uses its proboscis to feed on detritus. I couldn't access much info on how exactly this species feeds, but here's a quote from wikipedia about the genus Urechis. I guess pretty much the same applies to U. unicinctus:

It has a short proboscis and a ring of mucus glands at the front of its body. It expands its muscular body wall to deposit a ring of mucus on the burrow wall then retreats backwards, exuding mucus as it goes and spinning a mucus net. It then draws water through the burrow by peristaltic contractions and food particles stick to the net. When this is sufficiently clogged up, the spoon worm moves forward along its burrow devouring the net and the trapped particles. This process is then repeated and in a detritus-rich area may take only a few minutes to complete. Large particles are squeezed out of the net and are eaten by other invertebrates living commensally in the burrow. These typically include a small crab, a scale worm and often a fish lurking just inside the back entrance. [source]

How Do They Reproduce?

Again, I couldn't find much info about the species specifically, but in general echiurian are dioecious, so they have separate male and female individuals, with fertilization occuring externally. 

Are They Threatened?

Although not officially evaluated by the IUCN, it appears that the wild populations of the fish penis are sharply declining in China and Japan in recent years. 

Are They Dangerous?

Nop, totally harmless! They are not toxic or poisonous and they have no teeth or something to bite you. So, if you ever see one don't hesitate to touch and caress it :D

Can I Eat One?

According to wikipedia, the penis fish is a Chinese delicacy, eaten both raw and cooked... But these people eat all kind of weird shit so I am not so sure if you'd actually want to eat one.. But yeah, they are edible! Koreans seem to like them too:

Urechis unicinctus served as hoe in a restaurant in South Korea. (credit)

The End

So, I think I have covered all the basics you need to know about the creature. Of course, there are many more technicalities I could cover (e.g. anatomy) but to be honest I don't think many people are really interested in these boring details. TO be honest, I bet most people just click the pictures and videos!  

Nevertheless, you can always click the various links provided in the post if you want to learn more the penis fish! 

Until the next post...

Steem on!

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Only Europeans will understand this. Circumcised Americans be like, "this doesn't look like a penis at all".

Bonellia viridis needs to get laid urgently...I never seen blue balls like that.

That ribbon worm is how I imagine Spiderman cuming....

This is one of your funniest penis posts btw!


"This is one of your funniest penis posts btw!"

Thanks. I wish I could find more penis related stuff to post about :(

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Thank you kind bot!

so I am not so sure if you'd actually want to eat one

That didn't stop some of the girls I used to date in trying anyway.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Did they like the penis fish? :O


Well, I can't say anything about the fish... ¯\ _ (ツ)_/¯


Hmmmm... I have no idea what you are talking about then! Please elaborate ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )


I can't, think of the children!

Phallic forms are often found in nature


That's a....micropenis!


This is not a state of erection )

ιδιαιτερα επιμορφωτικο το αρθρο ...ναι ναι το ομολογω και αδιαφορω για τα φαλλοκρατικα μυαλα και τις πονηρες σκεψεις.... να ξερεις δινω βαση στα post σου και τα αντιμετωπιζω ακρως επιστημονικα... geek.jpg


ευχαριστώ ! έχω και τις καλές μου στιγμές!

20-30cm long? That's like a quarter of my "manhood"

Just when I think the conversation on phallic organs is over, I come across another one that gets curie’d. A recent post on pussy (cats) also received curie support. Thanks for this new knowledge on oceanic beings.


Always a pleasure to talk about phallic stuff. Thanks for reading!


It was a very pleasurable read! 😉


oh don't you worry. I got one coming up planed


On my list to check out!

They actually end up exploding near the tip when they get excited so make sure not to touch it and or caress it without it's permission... Another fun fact, they live in small tight holes and they will go in the front or the back of the burrows. They don't discriminate.

Oh and here is a horseradish... Why you ask? Because they are good for you.

Cheers ;)


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... It looks tasty !


That is how I start my mornings. Nothing like some good nutrients to get the day going!

That's a weird looking animal, eating those must be super uncomfortable for obvious reasons. And that last picture, looks like an aborted baby, I wonder how come some people enjoy eating these weird things.

Either way, this was an interesting read.


I would certainly taste one :D


I guess I am bicurious 😂😂

congrats on the @curie post. Seems like they can't pass up a good penis / cock post now adays.


Sorry, if I had more vp this would get a 100 % :(


oh you just save that vote power for my comedy open mic post i have planed. This post will play a large part in it. I even outsourced for some custom art work.


I feel a strange sensation, like a cold air that touches my back and an irrational fear of the idea of seeing how the Asians cut and prepare this peculiar fish.

As funny and interesting at it look to read.... It is really educative

big enough to put your dick to shame lol

I am imagining the weirdness of eating it and also thinking it is practically a dick... Thanks for sharing this creature.. Never heard of it and I don't think would not if not for this post


Glad you learned something new :D

But really, if a person's penis looks like this, the person should seek medical help ASAP.

παντός ειναι συχαμενο!!! αντε να το πιάσεις στο χέρι :)


Μπορείς να το πιάσεις κ με το στόμα!


χαχααα... άστο καλύτερα στη τρυπα του.. θα ξεράσω..

This looks weird... Cool tho

I am really happy to see that there are a lot of great writers for utopian and steemstem. I like your post and the videos that promote here.
Good job, man!


Thank you. I wouldn't consider myself a great writer although I do pick great topics 😂