Study Finds Using Steemit Linked To Increased Risk Of Stroke

in cryptocurrency •  last month

brain-3168269_640.png

Springfield Illinois -- A study done by BlockchainMed on Steemit users has shown that those attempting to understand how the blockchain based social media platform works are 100% more likely to have a stroke than users that simply post content without regard for actual success. BlockchainMed surveyed 2,000 new users of Steemit after they had been posting via Steemit for five weeks. Of the users that attempted to understand how the service works, they found all three had succumb to a massive stroke leaving them paralyzed and without the ability to speak or read.

The lead physician of the research told Improper Headspace, "It appears that the platform is so complex that trying to understand it can have the same effect as staring into the eyes of Satan. We suspect that if the users had not suffered a stroke, and subsequently stopped using the service, their brains would have actually melted." When asked to explain how the service works she said, "We really don't know. The undergrad student tasked with answering that question went into a comma three days after beginning her research."

We contacted an engineer at Steemit, Inc. for his reaction. He was skeptical of the findings stating, "Frankly, it is so simple to understand that anyone with an IQ of 190 or higher could pick it up in three weeks tops." BlockchainMed is urging users of Steemit to either switch to another platform or avoid using Steemit for anything other than posting memes and self-help material.

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Very funny!

·

You just planted 0.10 tree(s)!


Thanks to @rufusfirefly

We have planted already 6038.13 trees
out of 1,000,000


Let's save and restore Abongphen Highland Forest
in Cameroonian village Kedjom-Keku!
Plant trees with @treeplanter and get paid for it!
My Steem Power = 26115.10
Thanks a lot!
@martin.mikes coordinator of @kedjom-keku
treeplantermessage_ok.png

I'm with the engineer from Steemit, Inc. It's so simple and straightforward. It only took me a month to understand it, and I only have an IQ of 170. If I can do it, surely anyone else can.

Lol

I believe everything I read on the internet and this greatly concerns me. Actually I tkhni im hnvgin a skroe rhtig wno...

I see a new asylum model in the very near future:

  1. Only Steemit users will be allowed in the treatment facility.
  2. Walls will be made of posts appearing on the Trending Page (no need for physical walls as Steemitzens cannot figure out how to near said page, much less pass it
  3. Patient must blog 4 X's per day and post meaningful comments to 24 posts daily. All rewards during the patient's stay will be turned over to the facility.
  4. Payment for treatment and facility stay will be made in crypto at the end of the patients stay, and the patient will only be released after payment is cleared. The catch? A friend or relative must make the payment in STEEM, and that friend or relative must have been trained on Steemit by the patient.

:)

LMAO!

(typo: comma —> coma)

Yes, I confirm, I barely managed to escape the stroke but at least half my brain has been declared "beyond repair"

·

sorin despre ce este vorba esti bine ? eu incerc acum sa ma logez pe telegram

·
·

Multumesc! Ne te ingrijora, am omis doar sa put un smiley, era doar o gluma obosita :-)

·
·
·

MAN M-AM SPERIAT UMPIC

·
·

salut nu mai stiu contul vechi sau numarul acum am alt numar +353 83 864 9241 daca te rog sa imi dai add

Highly rEsteemed!

Bacon Bizarre.jpg

lol is dis maphamatics or edumacation ... my brain hurtsss

ha ha ha ha !!!!
XD !!

I'm so happy to see this. I kept wondering why every time I thought I might have been here long enough to try to figure out how it all works my head would start hurting. Glad I didn't study on it too long any of those times. WHEW !!.....

OK.... ya'll excuse me while I dash off to snap another meme and take a photo of my curtains for my next post.

Hope you have a happy day ! 😂 😉

😂😂😂

I call bullshit!
Funny bullshit though. ;)

Thank you so much for this advice and warning. I thought that there was something wrong and now I know what it was. I was trying to understand and it drove me crazier than ever! Now I know so I will try my best to stick with memes. How hard can it be? Or maybe I should do a self help post about how to post only memes.

jajajaja nice one.

holy fcuk shit this is the most accurate research ever @arrowj :D

please add in tag #comedyopenmic and just nominate 2 other "researcher" to post any satire or anything remotely grin worthy

we gotta get you running in the competition to win some glory and prizes!

Here's the link: https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-37

i had very little problems onboarding here.

and no, my left side did not go numb.